Elle Severe Presents

Archive for September, 2014|Monthly archive page

Survivor: Blood versus Water 2, Electric Boogaloo

In Uncategorized on September 25, 2014 by Pabby MFNP

So compelling?????  

Our hero and host, Jeff Probst starts off the show by saying the last time Survivor did “Blood Versus Water,” it was so compelling that they had to do it again.  So compelling? If you want compelling, give me “Fans Versus Favorites” or ” Heroes Versus Villains” or anything involving Boston Rob or Russell Hantz.  But not Blood Versus Water.  If I wanted to see sibling rivalry or family dysfunction, I’d just invite my family out to dinner at a Chinese Restaurant.

Dramatic intro with Jeff.

Jeff always does some dramatic intro and then the camera fades back to see him doing something somewhat dangerous. For this one, he’s on a helicopter while it takes a sideways dive after his monologue. I, for one, do not like it.  Jeff Probst is too important to the world.  Keep it simple and keep Jeff safe.  God!

A brief intro of the characters:

Jon and Jaclyn:  The guy Jon says, “But it’s not all just this beautiful pretty little picture that everyone loves to paint.”  Then the camera pans to his girlfriend Jaclyn taking  off her shirt and stripping down to her bra.  Doesn’t look bad to me, bro!  Then she says, “I don’t want people to hates us cause we’re a crazy perfect couple.”  Ok, noted!

John Rocker and long time girlfriend, Julie:  Longtime girlfriend?  Give me a break.  Put a ring on it already.  I don’t know how long she has stuck by you but however long it has been, just marry her already.   Stop being selfish.  Unless of course she won’t marry you because you’re John Rocker and dumb and you’re just hanging on for dear life, then carry on.

Mother/ Daughter, Baylor and Missy:  Baylor or perhaps Missy is the mom and she’s been through 3 divorces.  For some reason, the daughter has played the motherly role and had to grow up fast.  I’m not going to say anything about the 3 divorces because anyone who’s been married can tell you that marriage can sometimes be very scary and some days you come home expecting to find an empty apartment and the lyrics to a Pink song written on the kitchen table.  Actually, I change my mind, I am going to say something.  Go ahead and get divorced if the marriage isn’t working out or if all three marriages are not working out but don’t make your kid be the parent.  That’s f’d up!

Alec and Drew Sibling rivalry.  These guys didn’t make an impression on me other than the fact that one of the brothers told the other one to cut some of their hair for kindling to start a fire and it worked!   Also, they are from Florida so we can look forward to them doing Florida type things, hopefully.  Also, one said, “I’d love to see my brother beat me at Survivor.”  Then the other one said, “Good, cause I’m going to give you a front row seat.  I like some smack talk with my Survivor.

Dale and Kelly.  Father and Daughter.  They’ve had an up and down relationship over the past 10 years.  Isn’t that how it goes with all fathers and daughters?  Asking for a friend.  The father Dale says that he’s hoping that going on Survivor can help them mend some of the fences.  Has he not seen this show?

Josh and Reed, longtime survivor fans and couple who perform on Broadway.  They were involved with that Spiderman play.  The one thing I know about that Spiderman play is that Bono was somehow involved and early on, some of the harnesses broke and Spiderman came crashing down on the mf’ing audience.  I could be making some of that up but I do remember hearing about that production having a lot of problems.  It wasn’t necessarily because of Josh and Reed, though.  They seem like a nice couple.

Val and Jeremy, Police officer wife and fireman husband from beloved Foxboro, Massachusetts.


The Twinnies are the most annoying people to ever play the Amazing Race and for some reason they were invited back for another season.  Now they’ve been invited to my beloved Survivor.  Oh the humanity.  Right off the bat, the Twinnies started out with a prayer which was good because they’re gonna need it!  Then they quickly showed why America hates them.  They had some trouble starting a fire and then when it went out completely they started furiously bickering at each other.  I think they’ve spent altogether too much time together in life and don’t know how normal people interact.  Sad face.  It was amusing though when they yelled at the helicopter, “We need help!”  Yes, yes, you do.

Keith and Wes, Father and son from good old Louisiana.  They immediately were at odds because one of them lost the flint.  They also seem to be at odds in that the father seems to think his son is something of a dip shit.   As a father, I think I have to side with him!  Just the good old boys. Never meanin no harm.  Got in trouble with the law ever since the day they were born.

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