Elle Severe Presents

Brighton Pays It Forward aka How I got My Groove Back

In Life, Musings, Random on August 7, 2012 by Brighton Reyz


So to put it mildly, it’s been a rough year.  Just shaking off 2011, which consisted of a proverbial house falling on the wicked witch of the west (my evil coworker left the company), to the ups and down of being in the construction business during a recession.  Oh wait, not a recession, but more like an American nightmare.  When you start to refer to the past year and a half as the “that which doesn’t kill you but makes you stronger” year, or as I internally refer to them, the “Oh my God, what did I ever do to deserve this” months, you tend to have a less than a sunshine and rainbows outlook on life.

One  day I thought my life was a pendulum on the upswing, as it turns out, it was in fact really more like a Thelma and Louise cliff jump.

So I used to work with this horrible excuse for a human being.  She caused me to have to constantly plaster a smile on my face, but in reality she was my mental nemesis and made my life a living hell.  Well one fine day, she gave her two weeks notice.  What was this?!  Was I finally having a bit of good luck?  A day in the sun?  A chance to drive to work in the morning and not think of how to get into a fender bender on the way so I could shorten my scheduled 8 hours of torture?  Lady Luck was surely smiling down on me that day; where were you earlier, you cold-hearted wench?

Turns out I actually missed what was happening.  In retrospect, if I panned back, I would have seen that the fake smile she had on her face was a result of her pissing in my cheerios and understood the future that was in store for me.

The thing that I didn’t count on about this dream come true, was that even though the drama was leaving,  this crazy loon was actually really good at her job.  And even in a time when unemployment is at 10%, it does not mean that you will find The person you are looking for to replace someone.  How ironic is it to hate someone so much and want them out of your life so badly, but then they leave and you actually miss them?  Reminds me of my high school boyfriend…moving on… Anyway, after going through three substitutes that left for various reasons, doubling up on my responsibilities and training at the same time, our biggest job causing our cash flow to be cut off like the water at my first apartment, and just a general hate for myself to add planning a 3,000 mile away wedding (best party of my life ,which I refer to as a non paid internship to marriage, BTW),  I realized that an unfortunate domino effect had taken place: NOTHING was going the way it should have been.   I had since found myself with an aged attitude that you might find in an old, cranky, chain smoking lady losing to the house at the blackjack table at Foxwoods.  It got so bad that I looked forward to my daily routine of crying in bathroom stall at work because then at least I had a little peace and quiet.  It’s pretty bad when you realize that you have left the amateur level of crying at work and became a pro.  But at least the one good thing about my company is that when the shit hits the fan we can laugh at how funny it looks.  The good people that I work with could very well be the reason that I have not been committed yet.

Thankfully, by the fourth person we found a suitable match.  I’m pretty sure the saying is “fourth time’s a charm”, right?  With my new coworker seemingly working out, life has finally begun to return to normal.  The thing that I have trouble shaking is the constant feeling of doom.   There are days that I am like a beaten puppy wary of someone calling me over to pet me.  I keep waiting for this negative thought to go away on it’s own but it does not seem to want to leave.

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2 Responses to “Brighton Pays It Forward aka How I got My Groove Back”

  1. Mrs Noodle says:

    I love the way you write – so entertaining! How inspiring, now I want to pay it forward too. Rock on Reyz.

  2. Jaki says:

    Its the Secret!

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