Elle Severe Presents

Ermagherd Errernds

In Life, Random, Rants, The Exchange on December 7, 2012 by Elle Severe

Elle: Who wants to run errands??!! First stop, UPS store that makes Pabby Crazy.  Second stop: CVS to spend ExtraBucks.  Third stop: Subway for cheap ass sub. Who’s in? I’ll buy treats!

Pabby: Ermagherd!  I hate that UPS store.   I hate everything about that store:  (Reminds me of the Henry Winkler scene in Waterboy where he’s wearing red high heels and talking on the phone that is not actually plugged in.  “I hate him Grandma. I hate him, I hate him, I hate him!”

1)       Crossing the street at an angle in traffic and you get stuck in that big yellow no man’s land in the middle wondering if you’ve drawn your last breath and you have to fight the urge to grab the hand of the person you’re walking with like they’re your kids and you don’t want them to get smooshed like it was a game of frogger.

2)      The UPS store itself.  I object to any place that charges more for stamps than what they ordinarily cost.  Perhaps having stamps is a courtesy and saves people from having to go to the post office with all the people working there and waiting lines, just waiting to die.

3)      Someone is always up to some sh*t with a weird mailing situation.  I always assume at least one person is mailing out body parts.  (Perhaps someone they murdered and they don’t want all of the body parts in one place, maybe?)

4)      I hate the sh*tty board that has sh*tty advertisements on it.  “Need sowing?  Call 617-424-5542.”

5)      I hate how messy the store is.

6)      I hate that Elle gets constantly gets herself in this situations where she always has to spend a fortune at this place to the point where I consider her as someone who needs to be saved like the girl in the “Let her cry” Hootie song.  There are some times when she has a pre-paid shipping label and on these days, I consider it a Christmas came early situation.

And as far as CVS goes, using ExtraBucks is NOT extreme couponing no matter how much you “save”.

So ya.  I’ll go.

The End

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