Elle Severe Presents

Extra Bucks = Flowers: My Abusive Relationship with CVS

In Bitch Please, Life, Musings, Rants on August 8, 2012 by Jacey Prescott

Let me be clear in saying the intent of this passage in no way condones or pokes fun at any form of domestic violence or abuse in any relationship.

That being said, The Consumer Value Store and I have had a long, ugly and yes, dependent, thus, abusive relationship.    No matter how many bad experiences, mistakes, annoyances or let downs occur, I continue to go back to the one that hurts me…and more than the typical person, I might add.  Hello, My Name is Jacey, and I am addicted to CVS.

One might call this relationship addictive or abusive and I may even categorize it as dependent.  I NEED CVS!  They screw me every time and I keep going back.  I always believe their intent is good, until I need to go back.  And I ALWAYS need to go back!

Prescriptions:  too much of a pain to change pharmacies.  Get this:  the reason I won’t change? Other pharmacies are not as convenient.  WAIT…NOT AS CONVENIENT AS WHAT?!? Will I seriously not change pharmacies for that reason? The convenience of staff acting completely shocked when I tell them I have more than one script to be picked up? The convenience of 10 people in line and one really slow cashier and 7 people behind the counter standing around? The convenience of my script not being filled, even though I called to check and drive there and they then tell me that they didn’t fill it and now I have to wait (as I cough and hack and prepare to keel over).  Side note: I can be a little dramatic and also may tend to have a short temper.


So anyway, they get me on the scripts.  To this day, every time I go there I think to myself, “this time it will be different”. Sign Number One you’re in an abusive relationship.

Why else do I continue to go back? Besides blaming myself, (‘I should known better than to go at 5:00′, ‘I really shouldn’t go on the weekends’,’ I should have called first’) see also: Excuses, the Second Rule of an abusive relationship.  But I go back because I continue to convince myself that CVS is far more convenient than any supermarkets or other bigger drugstores (don’t get me started) and I CANNOT begin to discuss the woes of Walmart or other such places (another blog for another day).  But I do insist that close/easy parking and the amount of in-store traffic, navigation and distance is much less to handle at CVS than the other aforementioned stores.  I used tell myself this over and over again, until I am in the midst of it…in the midst of a pharmacy line 8 people deep, or get the disgruntled old lady who LOVES to yell at people who want to buy Claritin and she IMMEDIATELY assumes they are drug addicts so she needs to see their ID “Ya know!” (Seriously happened.  I’m not sure where that lady went, she was pretty old).

Why I oughta…

Now the old lady is not a pharmacy worker, she is (was?) a store employee…completely different breed of cat here.  The CVS workers are either 10 or 85…no in between.  Either end of the spectrum, they have no idea what is going on or how to problem solve, almost always resulting in my waiting over 5 minutes for them to “go check” on one of the three small items I picked up, only because it was on sale, but it’s not ringing up on sale.  (To be fair, the old woman may have known somewhat what was going on, but took it a little too seriously.  Or maybe she did have NO IDEA and thought she was a cop, perhaps?) There is never a cashier at the counter if there is no line BUT there are 7 signs, one at each register reading “next register please” and then someone half mile away looks at me like I am dumb when they irritatingly state from the photo counter “I can help you right here”.  I then put on my battered woman face, smile and sheepishly say, “oh, OK”…as if it was my mistake.

Oh I’m sorry, am I bothering you?

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