Elle Severe Presents

Google for the Win

In Musings, Random, WhiteBread on March 27, 2013 by WhiteBread

I haven’t written in a while.  I’m sorry.  And while normally I’m not one to make excuses for my poor performance, I can’t help but offer some justification for my pathetic behavior.  I figured it was best to finally come clean about my recent disappearance so I could least pacify the concerned mind of that one dedicated member of my fan base.  Yes, I’m looking at you Lena Dunham.

The reason I haven’t written in such a long time – and this is really hard for me to admit to all of you – is because, well, I temporarily lost my vision in a terrible yoga accident.  I downward dogged way too hard.  My sight finally came back though after I climbed to the top of Mount Everest topless and stared God directly in his one, good eye.

You don’t look like you believe anything I just said.  Sorry, I don’t know why I thought you were foolish enough to believe such a heinous lie.  After all, everyone who knows me, realizes I don’t do anything without a shirt on. Ok, fine, the real reason is because I have actually been mourning the death of Pope Benedict.

Oh he’s not dead?  Wait, for serious?

Fuck.

Alright, ok.  So, then I have no excuse other than a total lack of inspiration lately.    However, that has changed as of recent thanks to the following two things: the wonderful people at Google as well as the second most talented musical duo of all time: Hall and Oates, (with the #1 spot belonging to the prolific Milli Vanilli).

Here’s the back-story: one day I was perusing the Internets and happened to fall upon a YouTube clip on an important topic that sparked my interest.  However before I could begin watching this highly anticipated video of a monkey kicking a human in the balls, YouTube was going to force me to watch one of their dreaded advertisements.  These ads are normally terrible nuisances to me.  Even their expedited 5 second wait time which allows you to skip the full advertisement is too long for me.  I am so adverse to these ads that I end up closing my eyes to avoid the sight, which only results in me falling asleep for hours.  I’ve been fired from 4 jobs.

But this time, something was different.  No, this wasn’t a 5 to 30 second advertisement for Revlon products, tax software or douches (Justin Bieber album plugs).  No, instead, I was subjected to 30 heavenly seconds that may have resulted in tears appearing in my eyes – though I’m still not sure they were my own.  Here’s the ad I’m talking about http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D0hHaQgdypI .

Google uses this half minute plug to demonstrate how the song Maneater was actually written.  In using Google Docs to write their song in 1982, Hall and Oates only further proves that their music was wayyyyy ahead of their time.  Also, to put the humor witnessed in context, these 30 seconds are way funnier than Hall and Oates’s dancing in the music video for Maneater, slightly funnier than the cover of their H2O album but perhaps a tad less funny than Oates’s mustache.

Few things in life make me so purely happy, the short list including: rainbow sprinkles, the song Jesse’s Girl and Harrison Ford, or as I refer to it: Steph’s sexy, salacious sundae.  However, now I think I may have one more thing to add to my list.  And while I may never get the connection between angry tiger and mangobbler,  I can at least enjoy these 30 seconds of heaven and a confirmation of what I already knew was true, Oates is clearly the Ben Affleck of this relationship.

Oh, Mangobbler.  Get’s me every time.

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