Elle Severe Presents

Past Loves: Whitebread Edition

In Past Loves on July 31, 2012 by WhiteBread

I will preface this post by telling you all that I am, in fact, a weirdo.

Bob Saget

From Full House to America’s Funniest Home Videos, Bob Saget became the last person I saw/heard before going to sleep most nights as a child.  Rumor has it he permeated my brain so dramatically during my formative years, that the first word I ever uttered was “Bob”.  Maybe it was his wholesome family values, or his plaid shirts and corny jokes, or perhaps it was that fact that I secretly could tell his Philly swag equaled a very dirty side.  Whatever it was, Bob did it for me.

The impact of my Bob love definitely stretched into my later years as well.  Up until my current boyfriend, nearly all of the men I’ve dated and/or slept with beared some resemblance to Bob.  This fact proves once and for all that not only is he a tough crush to get over, but that I’m probably the weirdest fucking person on the planet.



Nomar Garciaparra

What?  I’ve got a thing for noses.

In 1997, Nomar not only entered the baseball scene as the young phenom, shortstop for the Boston Red Sox but he broke into my young, impressionable heart as well.  For years following, my unhealthy obsession with Nomar continued to grow.  Going to countless card shows to add to my collection, pouring over numerous magazine and newspaper articles, memorizing all of his statistics and trying to catch a glimpse of him during Interleague play, I attempted to learn all about this man I admired.  I furiously defended him among groups of friends, family and strangers throughout all of his injuries, steroid rumors and OCD tendencies, and simply could not get enough of him.  The man was a saint to me (remember when he saved that woman who was drowning!), and I was in love.

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