Elle Severe Presents

Survivor Recap: Actions vs. Accusations

In TV Addict, Uncategorized on October 10, 2014 by Pabby MFNP


Back to camp after tribal and Baylor starts to think her alliance with Josh is not very strong.

Last week, despite Josh’s many protestations that his alliance with Baylor was stronger than ever, even though he needlessly voted for her, Baylor has realized Josh is not much help for her.  This week she realized that she came this close to getting voted out last week, going so far as to say that she’s officially woken up from thinking she’s safe from this game.   Then she switched it to the third person and said it’s gone to a Baylor fight for herself game from Baylor rely on Josh to talk to other people game.  She realized that she was pretty close to being blindsided last time.  Side note, I love when people talk in the third person.  I did that earlier today.  I said Pabby doesn’t like it when his wife buys Halloween candy too early.  Pabby shouldn’t be put in that position as he’s almost powerless not to open the bag and start eating it.  Now Pabby feels nauseous!  Pabby has no will power!  But back to the game, Baylor says that she no longer trusts anyone but is open to playing the game with anyone even still Josh.  I may have mentioned previously that Josh was part of the Broadway Spiderman show which had many production problems in the early going.  What I didn’t mention was there was a scene where Gwen Stacey was supposed to fall to her death (Oops, Spoiler Alert!) but as luck would have it, her harness was one of the few harnesses that actually held up.  The actor who played Spiderman was a consummate professional and only broke character long enough to undo the harness so they could continue the scene. But anyway Josh then had a conversation with John Rocker.  But before that could happen, John Rocker laments that Val didn’t use her idol like he told her to.  He still doesn’t seem to get that she didn’t have an idol, which leads me to think his stupidity knows no bounds.

John talks with Josh

John Rocker says to Josh, “I”m trying to figure out who flipped?”  To which Josh replied, “It was me!!!!!”  Although he didn’t ask John Rocker not to be mad, oddly enough, but then started going on and on about not having time to tell him, which John Rocker seemed to buy because he’s a dummy.  Then Josh bragged again about spotting John and Val leave to go talk to each other which made him suspicious.  The two of them seemed to hash things out and solidify that there is a strong “boy” alliance.  Josh says in the confessional that the two girls may be the next to go.  I can hear this conversation happening later, “Don’t be mad, Baylor!  We have an all boy alliance but don’t be mad!  Our alliance is stronger than ever!”

One final thing about Josh, all his “I had a reason for voting for you” and “I didn’t have time to tell you I was flipping” made me think he was starting to take a tone like “Let’s not bicker and argue about who voted for who.  This is supposed to be a happy occasion” like in this Monty Python bit.  “Please!  Please!  Let’s not bicker and argue about who killed who!”

Florida Drew talks a big game but then starts napping like a mofo.

Florida Drew starts talking about how the roof of the shelter is in tough shape and when a tropical storm hits, everyone is going to be in trouble.  Then people somehow get motivated to start weaving a new leaf roof.  He starts to help but is useless and the next scene shows him napping.   Louisiana Dad Keith says that if his son was a layabout like that, he’d open up a can of whoop ass.  He then said we still spank in the South.  For one, sadly, yes, we know that already from Adrian Peterson and two, guess what, we spank here in the North, too, bro. Twinnie then starts f’ing with Florida Drew to the delight of the tribe.  I for one do not like being f’d with while I’m sleeping so I’m surprised that he didn’t wake up like the Incredible Hulk but to make matters worse, she starts nagging that he’s not contributing.  Normally, I would side with Twinnie.  Actually, who am I kidding, I could never side with Twinnie.  On anything.  I don’t like when people don’t pull their own weight but no one should have to wake up to Twinnie nagging at them.  Twinnie goes on to say, ”  don’t know how someone could be that self-centered, that oblivious to what’s going on!”  When Twinnie whose every other word is “Twinnie!” says that you have no self-awareness, then perhaps Florida Drew, you may in fact be a complete dipshit.   Later Jeremy says that he had plans to take Drew far but it looks like he can’t because he’s from Florida an idiot.

Reward Challenge!

The tribes get together for the reward challenge and Jeremy’s Waqina Feenix tribe gets its first look at the Milakunis tribe.  Jeremy sees that Val is gone and is obviously pissed off but says whatever.  John Rocker is immediately apologetic and admits to looking out for Val which seemed to be a surprise to most of his tribe.  Florida Alec looked dumbfounded which is his usual look anyway.  It was not a shock to Spiderman Josh because he had his suspicions as we were told countless times.  What was a shock was John would admit in front of everyone.  I’m starting to like Spiderman Josh as you can tell he has an appreciation for the game and knows what he’s doing, except for the whole I voted for you, don’t be mad thing.

Anyway, Jeremy looked mad.  See?

I would be mad if someone told me they’d look out for my wife on Survivor and then my wife got immediately voted out.  But to be honest, I would never go on Survivor with my wife.  You know why?  Because I don’t want America to know that I’m afraid of my wife think it puts unnecessary stress on a marriage.  So Survivor Casting Directors, if you’re reading this, don’t bother calling me for Blood versus Water 3.  But Fans versus Favorites, hit me up bro!

Louisiana Father versus Son

Just the good old boys.  Never meanin no harm.  Got in trouble with the law ever since the day they were born! 

For reward, father Keith had to battle against his son Wes in some strange balance challenge.  It was a relatively close battle but the son won because he’s not super old.  He seemed to enjoy winning.  This reminded me of when I was little.  I used to play checkers with my father all of the time.  Sometimes he’d let me win but then one day, I realized that he stopped letting me win and that I was better than him.  This made me sad beyond belief because I assumed my father was the greatest at everything.  I immediately tried to sabotage the game and make it so that I lost.  However, it would have been obvious.  Now that I’m a father, I always tell my kids that someday they will be faster, stronger and more intelligent than me and on that day I will be happy. I train them like Morpheus trained Neo in The Matrix to help them get there. “Stop trying to hit me and hit me!” Then last winter, my son taught me how to play Othello and then promptly kicked my ass while constantly advising me to try to think several moves ahead. Needless to say, it was humbling.  Wes didn’t seem particularly sad or happy to beat his father except he was happy that his tribe finally won something.  He picked Spiderman Josh to go with his dad to Exile.

Jax continues his Machiavellian schemes.

Jax Teller continues his scorched-earth campaign against everyone around him.  For the longest time, Jax seemed to struggle to come to grips with the diametrically opposing forces of being a good leader and doing what’s best for the club and then all of a sudden, he said f*ck it and the bodies started piling up.  The viewers are all continued to be left to wonder to what end and also is Tigs the most deviant person to walk the Earth?  Oops, wrong recap, that’s  Sons of Anarchy.

Ridin’ through this world
All alone
God takes your soul
You’re on your own

The crow flies straight
A perfect line
On the devil’s path
Until you die

Love that song, bro.

In case you’re worried that this was some type of spoiler alert, please note that the above blurb can be used to describe any episode of Sons of Anarchy.

The odd couple on Exile

Louisiana Keith and Spiderman Josh had a good old time on Exile and bonded.  They seemed to find it strange that they could get along with someone who’s so different from them.  Well, let me let you all on a little secret, most interpersonal problems don’t stem from the parties being too different but from being too similar!  So anyway, the two had some delicious snails and share the immunity idol clue.

Jeremy wages war against John Rocker.

Taking a cue from Jax above, Jeremy wages his own scorched-earth campaign against John Rocker, letting everyone know who he is and about the racist and homosexual sic things that he has said in the past.  He obviously meant homophobic but he was probably all kinds of worked up about losing his partner in the game, Val.  John Rocker’s wife, whatever her name is,  immediately feels ostracized and goes off to do her own thing for a while.

Baylor angles to get Florida Alec and Louisiana Wes on her side.

She says that she can get Jacqui to join along as well.  They pay her lip service but are unmoved.

Immunity Challenge

Running out of time so I’m going to be less detailed for the rest of this blog.  Dale is reduced to annoying cheer leader.  At one point, John Rocker makes a basket and  Dale yells “Big John!”

The challenge itself was physical and it seems like the teams crashed into each other whenever they could.  It was a close battle but eventually John Rocker’s team narrowly lost.

After the challenge, Twinnie immediately starts mouthing off, “Change it up! Vote off the strongest people! Following a racist!”  John Rocker takes extreme exception to this and says, “If you were a man, I’d knock your teeth out.  Let’s fight!”  Which is an extremely strange thing to yell to a woman at any time but especially on reality tv.  Then Twinnie airs all of John Rocker’s laundry and keeps mouthing off and yells, “I’m not afraid of you bro!  Knock me out!” which reminds me of one of my favorite scenes in one of my favorite movies, Drowning Mona.  If you haven’t seen, I would netflix that sh*t immediately.  In any case, here is the trailer if you want to watch it, or just skip to 1:52.  What are you gonna do?  Ya gonna freakin hit me?

In any event, the whole thing was a complete sh*t show.  Dale did speak up for John Rocker and said the team supports him.  Even Florida Alec gets in on the act trying to calm down John Rocker and neutralize the situation.

Back at camp, John Rocker meets with everyone and feels pretty confident in his position.  He seems to consider Josh to be his main ally which is why he tells him that he has an immunity necklace.  Since immunity necklaces were introduced, to the consternation of many Survivor Purists, I have always maintained that if you find one of those, you should shut the f up about it.  But I have seen quite a few people reveal it to their advantage in order to shore up an alliance or to protect themselves.  This revelation to Spiderman Josh seemed to me to be an uncalculated move by John Rocker.

The girls angle to get rid of Dale who has been almost useless, even as a cheerleader.  Then I believe Florida Alec and Louisiana Wes decide to start playing the game and start talking about getting rid of John Rocker.

Spiderman Josh starts talking about how he might not want to be aligned with John Rocker based on his character.  This could be the 29 seasons of Survivor I’ve watched talking but in my opinion, that’s exactly who you’d want to be aligned with.

Tribal Council

It seems as though a blind side is in the works against John Rocker but then Jaquie picks probably the worst time in the history of her life to start talking.  She says things like “I don’t know.  It might not be one of the girls who goes home today.  I’m starting to think one of the guys may be going home.”  I have to give her the benefit of the doubt that no one clued her in that Rocker said he had an idol.  But even still, she probably should have just played dumb or at least been quiet.  Words to live by Jacqui:  “Better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to speak out and remove all doubt.” – Abraham Lincoln


Based on everything that has happened this far, Based on the fact that I had heard rumors that John Rocker had an interview and complained that Survivor was the worst experience of his life and based on the fact that Josh felt that he couldn’t trust John Rocker, I’m going to surmise that it is in fact John Rocker that goes home and that is exactly what happened.   On a side note, isn’t there some kind of gag order with people who come back from playing Survivor?  Him complaining about Survivor was a big time spoiler.  Naturally, I knew that John Rocker would never win Survivor but still!  John gets to join a long list of people who have gone home with immunity idols.  Some day, I’ll compile a list but today is not that day.

See you guys next week.  Survivor looks good with Florida Drew talking like he’s running the whole show, meanwhile his entire tribe is snickering behind his back.  Florida Drew versus Twinnie in the battle of the Least Self-aware all-stars?  Who ya got?



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