“It seems that you’ve been living two lives……One of these lives has a future and one of them does not.” -Agent Smith in The Matrix. Also, my wife on the morning after my last night of drinking.
I am creeping up on my 9th anniversary since I last had a Corona. I can’t figure out what the exact date was that I had my last beer, even though I have repeatedly researched it and tried to piece it all together. That’s a good indication of how much I drank that night. But I know that it’s sometime around August 20th, 2003. A day that will live forever in infamy. Well, not really. I like to think that this is the day that I was set free, even if a certain part of me was put under lock and key.
Many people have asked me what it’s like to quit drinking. Well, here is a question and answer session that I had with myself.
Q: How were you able to stop drinking? It really is a magnificent feat for someone such as you from Dorchester.
A: Thank you. The twelve steps were a big help. Also, I couldn’t have done it without all of the love and support from my family and friends.
Q: Did you follow all 12 steps?
A: No, unfortunately, I skipped some of the steps and created some of my own such as crying myself to sleep and scowling all the time.
Q: What was the hardest part of quitting?
A: I would have to say Corona commercials which seemed to be specially designed to mock me. Also, the overwhelming feeling that I’m constantly on the outside looking in at everything.
Q: Is there a commercial that you can relate to this?
A: Yes, the one that went “He can’t play like the other kids, he has asthma.”
Q: What is that you miss the most about drinking?
A: Tailgate parties and being an absolute mess at sporting events.
Q: What is the most rewarding part of it?
A: That I’m a good role model for my kids in at least one but very important way.
Q: Do you think your kids appreciate it?
A: No, they are a-holes. But maybe someday they will.
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This is hilarious and yet answers so many questions for me about the non-drinking set. I also enjoy that you felt the need to specify that you were quoting Cake’s version of “I Will Survive,” when the quote applies to either. Completely unnecessary, and I would have done the exact same thing.
Thanks Ryan. Glad you enjoyed it. As for quoting Cake, I think that was my only option.
I love that you interviewed yourself and at one point you refuse to answer the question. Great stuff.. Back in the day I would’ve made sure you were always around so my drinking could appear classy and dignified. So glad you’ve made this journey. You will survive–happy anniversary.
You had me at cupcakes.